You've put so many of the thoughts I've been thinking into words. They were swirling around in my head and felt disparate, but you've managed to combine everything. Thank you for your advocacy and for your work.
This was so frustrating to me during the whole rfkjr rhetoric. It felt I needed to prove we belong here. My son is ten. There is no way he'd want his shit lay bare just to get a spot at the table. Makes me angry, but I'm not going to do that to someone who cannot consent and I'd have to assume wouldn't if he could. Your space. I've loved it from day one. I've been smacked so hard I didn't know where I was for a minute and have laughed until I cried. Love to your family. (I am a subscriber on sub. Lol. Just can't so both right now 🫶)
Thank you for this. For ALL of it, not just this but everything you do. This made me cry this morning and I am sharing it far and wide. My situation is totally different than yours, but my son exists in that area in between - where some see him as “not capable of” and others see him as “should be able to”. And so we just trudge along and do our best.
I never know how to articulate my internal responses to your words. But they always resonate deep in my soul & bones which can only happen when sharing from the deepest & truest well.
As usual, you sing the most beautiful song for someone like me. I am nonspeaking, and definitely fit "that" category--yet, I would never, ever wish to have my worst moments bared to the world. When caregivers talk of adult diapers and poo smearing (each of which are likely due to sensory differences), for example, I wonder whether they recognize that they are stealing the child's opportunity to be viewed as fully human. Whether they know it or not, this sharing of a child's worst private moments (as though the child can't possibly cognitively understand), well--it leaves people like me much more vulnerable to being thought of in negative ways, and to being abused. Further, this negative framing ensures that low expectations will follow the child (or adult).
Anyway, I always very much appreciate the way you honour your boys. Your example is excellent.
I'm so glad I came back and read this again. It's giving me courage and conviction. Thank you so much Tiffy! You're my anchor.
"My sons are watching.
And so are your children.
And one day, when the noise dies down, and the sides dissolve, and the battle lines blur… my words will remain. My fight will still be echoing in someone else’s bones. And maybe then, we’ll understand that the path forward was never about choosing sides, it was about choosing people. It was about love."
Your words always remind me how important it is to keep fighting. Thank you for being such a fierce Mama in a world that constantly tries to tell you how to mother. Thank you for giving yourself and your sons every chance to be yourselves and providing accomodations as needed and as you're able to. I know what it's like to have people shrug off your struggles because they don't see them, to have assumptions made based on their own limited knowledge of your life. Your words matter so much. Thank you for continuing to scream into these digital spaces. I really needed to hear your voice today. 💜
You've put so many of the thoughts I've been thinking into words. They were swirling around in my head and felt disparate, but you've managed to combine everything. Thank you for your advocacy and for your work.
Thank you for reading.
This was so frustrating to me during the whole rfkjr rhetoric. It felt I needed to prove we belong here. My son is ten. There is no way he'd want his shit lay bare just to get a spot at the table. Makes me angry, but I'm not going to do that to someone who cannot consent and I'd have to assume wouldn't if he could. Your space. I've loved it from day one. I've been smacked so hard I didn't know where I was for a minute and have laughed until I cried. Love to your family. (I am a subscriber on sub. Lol. Just can't so both right now 🫶)
Sending you so much love. It really is a hard time for our families right now.
Much needed insight, especially now. Nuance is desperately lacking in the loudest voices. 💜
Thank you for this. For ALL of it, not just this but everything you do. This made me cry this morning and I am sharing it far and wide. My situation is totally different than yours, but my son exists in that area in between - where some see him as “not capable of” and others see him as “should be able to”. And so we just trudge along and do our best.
THIS.
sending you so much love.
I never know how to articulate my internal responses to your words. But they always resonate deep in my soul & bones which can only happen when sharing from the deepest & truest well.
Hello, Tiffany,
As usual, you sing the most beautiful song for someone like me. I am nonspeaking, and definitely fit "that" category--yet, I would never, ever wish to have my worst moments bared to the world. When caregivers talk of adult diapers and poo smearing (each of which are likely due to sensory differences), for example, I wonder whether they recognize that they are stealing the child's opportunity to be viewed as fully human. Whether they know it or not, this sharing of a child's worst private moments (as though the child can't possibly cognitively understand), well--it leaves people like me much more vulnerable to being thought of in negative ways, and to being abused. Further, this negative framing ensures that low expectations will follow the child (or adult).
Anyway, I always very much appreciate the way you honour your boys. Your example is excellent.
Your friend,
Damon
Tiffany, your post move me. Your readers’ comments make me cry. Both enlarge my world. Fellow traveler – – ADHD.
I'm so glad I came back and read this again. It's giving me courage and conviction. Thank you so much Tiffy! You're my anchor.
"My sons are watching.
And so are your children.
And one day, when the noise dies down, and the sides dissolve, and the battle lines blur… my words will remain. My fight will still be echoing in someone else’s bones. And maybe then, we’ll understand that the path forward was never about choosing sides, it was about choosing people. It was about love."
Your words always remind me how important it is to keep fighting. Thank you for being such a fierce Mama in a world that constantly tries to tell you how to mother. Thank you for giving yourself and your sons every chance to be yourselves and providing accomodations as needed and as you're able to. I know what it's like to have people shrug off your struggles because they don't see them, to have assumptions made based on their own limited knowledge of your life. Your words matter so much. Thank you for continuing to scream into these digital spaces. I really needed to hear your voice today. 💜