So much I love about this...”So, my Autism can be isolating.
My Autism is being swallowed whole by the lands you create in your mind because it’s the safest place you know and where you hold the most control.
I live there because I am the master of this domain.
Creator of all, destroyer as well.
Weaving in and out of worlds designed to keep me occupied for hours and hours.
I don’t need to visit your world because I made my own.
Only I have to be part of this world. The world where my physical self resides. The world where the people are.
The real world. “
This part resonated with my experience...it feels safer and easier to stay apart from the “real world”, yet that is where we all inhabit. I am self dx autistic and feel v tangled often, between letting go of my masking public self and connecting with my real autistic self. It’s helped me understand growing up, helped me better understand my son, but also I struggle with am I really autistic bc I don’t fit the criteria entirely.
I appreciated your conveying to us a tiny slice of your experience.
i can definitely understand your struggle with letting go of masking and connecting with your authentic self. it's a struggle i face often. i don't know one autistic person that fits "being autistic criteria" entirely. it just sucks that we are often made to feel that we should. neither one of my sons do. i dont, but being online, with the thoughts and opinions of everyone coming at you at hyper speed, you often feel as though you must check every box.
That makes sense. Fear of online backlash/interactions/pressure is a huge reason I have a lot of anxiety surrounding my writing. I admire your boldness to continue showing up and sharing bc your voice and experience is important.
i used to have so much fear and anxiety when i first started sharing online. and not just my personal writings but when i first joined it was more in this advocacy space that you see so often in these spaces. and i was dragged for it. i am not saying anything different now than i was then, the climate has changed. it's become more open for me to express myself but also there's a shit ton of pushback and anger. i am still banned in many spaces. i am still negatively talked about and deliberately misinterpreted to rally audience members to come my way with hate. but i feel more confident in my ability to share, because i remember that this is my story and i am the only one with the rights to it. i own it. it's mine. not theirs. and when i stepped back from sharing as they did and started speaking for myself, to myself. i started to care less and less what they thought. i only hope that continuing to be bold in my shares that it inspires others to do the same.
I hate that it has been like that. But I love your perspective, to own your story and know it’s important to share it. You’re absolutely right. Hugs to you and yours!
So much I love about this...”So, my Autism can be isolating.
My Autism is being swallowed whole by the lands you create in your mind because it’s the safest place you know and where you hold the most control.
I live there because I am the master of this domain.
Creator of all, destroyer as well.
Weaving in and out of worlds designed to keep me occupied for hours and hours.
I don’t need to visit your world because I made my own.
Only I have to be part of this world. The world where my physical self resides. The world where the people are.
The real world. “
This part resonated with my experience...it feels safer and easier to stay apart from the “real world”, yet that is where we all inhabit. I am self dx autistic and feel v tangled often, between letting go of my masking public self and connecting with my real autistic self. It’s helped me understand growing up, helped me better understand my son, but also I struggle with am I really autistic bc I don’t fit the criteria entirely.
I appreciated your conveying to us a tiny slice of your experience.
i can definitely understand your struggle with letting go of masking and connecting with your authentic self. it's a struggle i face often. i don't know one autistic person that fits "being autistic criteria" entirely. it just sucks that we are often made to feel that we should. neither one of my sons do. i dont, but being online, with the thoughts and opinions of everyone coming at you at hyper speed, you often feel as though you must check every box.
That makes sense. Fear of online backlash/interactions/pressure is a huge reason I have a lot of anxiety surrounding my writing. I admire your boldness to continue showing up and sharing bc your voice and experience is important.
i used to have so much fear and anxiety when i first started sharing online. and not just my personal writings but when i first joined it was more in this advocacy space that you see so often in these spaces. and i was dragged for it. i am not saying anything different now than i was then, the climate has changed. it's become more open for me to express myself but also there's a shit ton of pushback and anger. i am still banned in many spaces. i am still negatively talked about and deliberately misinterpreted to rally audience members to come my way with hate. but i feel more confident in my ability to share, because i remember that this is my story and i am the only one with the rights to it. i own it. it's mine. not theirs. and when i stepped back from sharing as they did and started speaking for myself, to myself. i started to care less and less what they thought. i only hope that continuing to be bold in my shares that it inspires others to do the same.
I hate that it has been like that. But I love your perspective, to own your story and know it’s important to share it. You’re absolutely right. Hugs to you and yours!
And so, my Autism can be lonely.
Wanting a friend but not knowing how to make them.
Wanting a friend but wondering if I only want them because others do.
<3 I feel this so hard.
hugs to you.