My son don't need you to save him...

that's what he got his mama for...and I guess his damn daddy.

This pic is one of my favorites. Jojo smiled right after it was taken. Hammy was standing in the middle of the street though so we had to take the pic quick. Kid wasn’t ready. But he still likes it too. Can’t believe he’s taller than me. He’s growing up so fast!!!

Aye, so…I’m like 38 years old (these knees is pushing 79 tho).

I have teens. 

Like TEEN teens. 

16. 

14. 

One is on the internet often doing his own thing. The other is on there sometimes. One has a whole Facebook account and he doing his thing on there. 

Before I continue, let me state that any use of “you,” “your,” “y’all,” etc. is intentional and necessary for how I wish this piece to come across. If it don’t apply to you specifically, don’t take what I say personally, but do take it seriously. Just…don’t be putting on shoes that ain’t yours, okay?

Cool? Let’s continue.

It ain’t lost on me that there are some parents on here that go absolutely too far when they share about their littles. I complain about them often, to myself, and occasionally make a post about my not doing what they do in the manner in which they do it. That is the extent of where I take this. But then again, who the fuck am I to say that they have “gone too far”? Just cause it’s something I would not do, ain’t mean that I am some kind of authority here. I am already somebody parent, I ain’t trying to parent others. They ain’t gotta answer to me, they answer to their children. Same with me. I ain’t answering to folks on the internet, I am responsible for how my children view me. I have to take care of who they are offline and on. Should I drop the ball in this area, it’s on me. It ain’t on y’all. So, therefore I don’t be answering to nair one of y’all when you take issue with what and how I run my online spaces.

Y’all give weird vibes and misplaced energy when y’all try to press me about shares about my kids.

Don’t make them responsible for your perception of trauma being inflicted upon the imaginary children you put your cape on for. WON’T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN???!!!! Y’all making up children to bully me into doing what it is that you want me to do because you have it in your head that what I am doing is wrong. You introduce “the children” and try to intimate that my children are one of those who need saving.

They don’t need saving. Definitely not from you.

What post has inspired the minor display of anger? Glad you should ask.

This one.

This story about my son dragging me yet again and this person felt as though it were for “internet clout.” Big ol paragraph about how their mum was so “great because she didn’t share intimate moments of the both of them.”

What this got to do with Tiff? Trying to figure out if I look like her mama.

Please, I would share far better stories that didn’t include me getting dragged my teenager if I wanted clout. I’m on the losing end of these things every single time. The kid agreed, said, “that if it were for clout I would share the stories in which I win against him. Ppl like the winners.” 

I felt that I needed to respond to it, and I did. Furiously typing out a paragraph of my own. Then I gathered my damn self and said, “why?” Why am I giving this energy? I am literally sitting next to the child they choked themselves tying that cape too tight around their neck to save, and he ain’t even trippin’, WHY AM I?

So I just deleted the comment and blocked that person. They can go save some other person’s child.

I don’t share every moment with y’all but he and I both like the ones I share for different reasons. He likes to show that he best me at that time. And I like to show how he’s expanded on his communication. So many of y’all have been following us for years. Even y’all note the confident young man he is growing into.

There will be many who will be like, “but those other parents share too much…” “there are parents who do this that and the third…” “they are seeing so many parents do their children dirty and are just looking out…”

Full ass stop though. I ain’t excusing no blanket statements on how many parents can be on here when it come to sharing their children as a legitimate reason to press. I ain’t many parents. I am me. I am not about to shoulder your generalized feelings of all parents in these innanet streets. Read. And then read again if you’re struggling. Cause if you think for one moment what I share(d) is anything like what “many parents” share, then I am going to assume your problem ain’t with that particular post. 

And that is some shit you need to sort through. The mental gymnastics one must perform to find harm in what I just shared about my teenager and me is incredible.

Don’t give me your life story as justification for you digging into me. I am not responsible for your healing. Or some example to be made. Don’t take that out on me. 

What I will say is interesting is that when someone does have something to say about my children being on here, they will baby Aidan and assume that because he doesn’t speak he is unaware of what is going on around him. They don’t see the ableism in their heroics to save him. With Jojo that cannot fathom that he would allow his mama to share pieces of him. And share those times in which they playfully go back and forth with one another? Who made this person the authority of what is too intimate for my family to share and what isn’t? How dare that child be so open with his mama on these internet streets, and doing it on the internet with all the other teens who are…also on the internet. 

Including her damn son.

This world will do what it pleases with my children whether y’all see their likeness or not, whether yall know their names, or their favorite things, etc. There’s a message of them already written they must combat every single day. What I share of them is my way of trying to control that messaging and swing it in their favor. To make them more human to many who would designate them otherwise. 

BUT I am so careful with what and how I share them. And they don’t dominate my work. HOWEVER, being a parent is part of my advocacy. Cause ain’t nobody gonna fight for them like I do, will, and have. 

Why these folks always talking but never asking questions? 

It’s like they like to be loud and wrong. 

Like intentionally. 

Our relationship ain’t got a thing to do with them and they make it as if it were. 

He doesn’t need saving. Don’t make him responsible for the perception of trauma you feel is inflicted upon the imaginary children you put your cape on for. 

My son is 14 years old. Old enough for the Facebook account he has. He not only knows what I share of him on here, he reads it too, and he is very vocal about what he’s good with sharing and what he isn’t. This was the only one of a dozen things I wanted to share that he was good with. He nixed the others. 

This was a courtesy explanation I don’t often provide but I have time today. 

In conclusion, I answer to my children. I have to live with what I share of them, you don’t. I have to be mindful of what I do and how I do it. 

I don’t need my children for internet clout. Hell, I think I would have waaaay more followers if I did use my children in that way. But I choose to share in a way that works best for our family. That is, when I choose to share my family. I create my own shine, I don’t need dem kids.

FYM.

Weird to be trying to save a child who don’t need it.