This is part of my free newsletter, should you wish to honor my work with a monetary contribution please hit the “subscribe” button below. Your contributions will go towards funding our son’s communication journey. My children weren’t given the luxury of being children. They “aged out" of cute long ago. There’s no benefit of doubt extended to them. There’s very little grace. They should “know better” and “do better” long before they reach adulthood. And this is an attitude that will be forced upon them long after they hit age 18.
This is a fantastic essay on something you’ve shared on multiple times...it helped me better grasp your ideas even better. When we fail to acknowledge that not everyone’s circumstances are our own, that their lived experience will always be more significant than any conclusions I’ve drawn about it, we lose sight of how necessary these diverse experiences and perspectives are to creating real change. That the energy we bring to this work gets wasted on policing a set of rules or guidelines...you said it perfectly. I’m so glad you are doing this work Tiffany; that you bring your whole self and share it with us, that you allow us to learn from you and your family’s experience...it’s a pleasure to support your work.
The question I’m left with (always, this is my brains automatic default), is how? How do we do this? How do I invest my limited energy in ways that best advocate for all those who are autistic/have autism, including my myself and my kids? What is the best way to ensure my ND biracial kids have both a safe AND accessible education experience? How do I raise them that allows them to grow up as unfettered as possible, without the shame and stigma and harsh demand to mask, always, that I grew up with? How do I do so in a way that also opens up the pathway for those who are in less privileged existences? Where whiteness isn’t a part of their safety net? Where cisgender, heterosexual identities aren’t part of their safety net?
These are the questions I must consider, and I must admit they feel impossible. It feels easier to just teach my kids to perform in ways that make them safer. And yet. Thank you for the reminder of what’s at stake.
This is a fantastic essay on something you’ve shared on multiple times...it helped me better grasp your ideas even better. When we fail to acknowledge that not everyone’s circumstances are our own, that their lived experience will always be more significant than any conclusions I’ve drawn about it, we lose sight of how necessary these diverse experiences and perspectives are to creating real change. That the energy we bring to this work gets wasted on policing a set of rules or guidelines...you said it perfectly. I’m so glad you are doing this work Tiffany; that you bring your whole self and share it with us, that you allow us to learn from you and your family’s experience...it’s a pleasure to support your work.
The question I’m left with (always, this is my brains automatic default), is how? How do we do this? How do I invest my limited energy in ways that best advocate for all those who are autistic/have autism, including my myself and my kids? What is the best way to ensure my ND biracial kids have both a safe AND accessible education experience? How do I raise them that allows them to grow up as unfettered as possible, without the shame and stigma and harsh demand to mask, always, that I grew up with? How do I do so in a way that also opens up the pathway for those who are in less privileged existences? Where whiteness isn’t a part of their safety net? Where cisgender, heterosexual identities aren’t part of their safety net?
These are the questions I must consider, and I must admit they feel impossible. It feels easier to just teach my kids to perform in ways that make them safer. And yet. Thank you for the reminder of what’s at stake.
Well said. Thank you for sharing.