Who they talkin’ to?

Ain’t no subtitle, bih…

Hi, you made your way here. Cool. Here’s how it works: all posts are free, but commenting is not. Your monetary contributions help me to fund my son’s Spelling lessons (for those who do not know, my son doesn’t speak, has Autism/is Autistic, and these lessons help him to harness his motor skills to spell to communicate). Thank you for being here.

Who they talkin’ to? 

There is nothing about my son that doesn’t come without a fight. There aren’t many open doors. Access denied because of who he is. Access denied because of how his Autism looks. Access denied because of how he accesses this world. They tell you there are “better ways” and don’t think about what happens when your child doesn’t qualify for…“better”. 

Who they talkin’ to? 

He will soon age out of the things he couldn’t even access. And they will still tell me, “there are better ways…” 

Locate them for me. 

Tell me how to access them. 

Teach me. 

Better yet, FIGHT for us. Alongside us.

But that would require that they listen to us. 

Conversations many aren’t ready to have because it doesn’t fit pastels, cute graphics, or catchy phrases.

Who they talkin’ to?   

Easily digestible content that doesn’t mirror our real lives. 

Are they lyin’ to me or themselves? 

Why would you want whole selves to go down with ease? 

Why would you want to dilute our experiences to a matter of “you just aren’t choosing the right supports and services…” 

So many of us don’t even experience the privilege of OPTIONS and here they come with “there are better ways…” 

Who they talkin’ to? 

We did what they said. 

No, we TRIED to. 

When they weren’t outright denying our son services based on what they claimed was “behaviors outside of their training,” they were releasing him from their care after a few weeks for the same.  

Or my son is “too old” for their speech centers. 

Oh, just missed the cut off for occupational therapy. 

Closest vision therapy center is hours away. Half do not take insurance. The other does, but our insurance will only cover it for certain conditions. 

We would be here all day if I stayed on this train…let’s get off, you know what’s next? 

Who they talkin’ to? 

Yeah. That’s it. 

This isn’t even an “over the years” share. Our access has been limited even now. Even living in the center of Texas, near Austin…still can’t get to shit. Can’t access shit. Can’t open a door. 

Can’t even find a door. 

Are the “better ways” hiding? 

Do I need to know a password? 

Is there an underground group to join? 

Who they talkin’ to? 

It’s no secret we are on a Spelling journey with my son. 

What I do not always share are the ridiculous comments and messages I receive from other parents, Autistic adults, and speech therapists. 

According to them, this is setting my son up for failure. There are “better ways…” 

Thing is, this world has viewed my son as behind, non-compliant, dangerous, not as good as…and a failure, from the moment he drew breath and the sentiment grew as he grew. 

So, they want to tell me there are “better ways”, that I am hurting my son, he will be “worse in the long run”, but also don’t want to acknowledge the walls put up around their “better ways.” 

Who they talkin’ to? 

And learning to spell as a primary mode of communication isn’t without its challenges in access. It’s still difficult for us to acquire the proper services for this. It’s costly because it isn’t covered by insurance. It is a hell of a commitment because it is difficult to learn how to gain control over your motor but also because as a parent, I will be his communication partner. It’s a journey for myself as well. If I don’t do well, he won’t do well. 

There aren’t many practitioners out there. We have to travel 2.5 hours to Dallas weekly for 2 hours of lessons. I’m racking up miles on my vehicle, my driving knee to get there, and invoices.

And I will keep doing it as long as I am able to because *I* am his biggest supporter. I am his biggest fighter. I build doors with his guidance, his inspiration. 

Who they talkin’ to?

*I* AM the “better way.”