Y’all, I don’t know why I ever thought being an online “influencer” slash advocate slash whatever was not work. It literally is work. So much so that I had to get an agent. Not just any agent but one that caters to a disabled demographic. My agent goes above and beyond the traditional duties of being a talent agent. She handles my emails, will be involved with moderating my comments so that I can still maintain an online presence while resting or working on the many projects I have promised to put out but simply didn’t have the time to commit to them, and more. It’s like having an administrative assistant in addition to having an agent who will seek out opportunities for me, which she is also working hard at doing as well.
But this is literal work. Why I ever thought it wasn’t is beyond me. I hardly have time to myself. Or my family. I can feel the life leave from me when I have overextended myself. I constantly feel this pressure to not let anyone down who reaches out to me. It can be so very overwhelming.
My therapist tells me to treat my presence here like a job and give myself off days. This, I will start doing. I have to. I am missing out on so much with my own family to help another with theirs. I give so much of myself away for free. Or low cost. It’s like I cannot see the monetary value in what I have to offer this world. And I will watch others who appear to do less than I, generate whole incomes from being in these spaces.
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