Side Dishes
Reliving the moments of week's past, what I'm currently snackin' (lovin') on, and other random gems.
This is a free read up until a certain point. But don’t worry, you’ll get copious amounts of all things Tiffy…up until a certain point. Let’s give a short rundown of how things will flow here: an offering of what went on this past week, what will happen (or what I hope will happen) in the upcoming week, a collection of my finest recommendations, and a short essay or story, photos taken during the week that bring me joy or make me laugh my ass off. The last two will be shared exclusively with paid subscribers. Should you wish to honor my work in that way, $5/month gets you access. Please know that you can share excerpts of this post or the whole of this newsletter with others. In fact, I encourage you to do so. Sharing is caring. And a form of currency in these innanet streets.
Listen, ya girl has depth. I am talkin’ layers upon layers upon layers, y’all. Ain’t no way I was gonna have a space as freeing as this one and NOT talk about all the things that make me your best thing. So, pop culture, fashion, food, my favorite recommendations on a variety of life stuff, and a whole lot more.
Welcome to the buffet of Tiffy.
What ya girl got into this week:
1. Stress and overwhelm. I kid. No, not really, but I said my “goodbyes” on social media.
That’s what I got into. Way too much stress. Way too much overwhelm. And I got burnt the hell out. Social media had its way with me one last time and I finally decided to put my foot down and up its tight behind. If you followed me here from there, tell ya friends. I don’t mind, there’s plenty of me to go around. Share the love, hit the button below, then come back and read the rest of this.
Easy peasy, right?
I finally bid my farewell on Facebook, you can check out that post here. Or this one, which in hindsight served as the prequel to my exit. It contained this image from @itswalela on IG:
This image was part of a series of images and text on a post by Walela. This slide was tucked within the middle somewhere. And that is what I love about their posts. It’s all good content, but I find the best gems tucked within the middle.
I shared this image to my stories with the caption, “speaking my heart…” and it was. My head and heart are heavy every single time I logged onto those spaces. I was just tired all the time. Tired of defending myself, my choices (or lack thereof), my…humanity. All of it. It’s like a season of exhaustion for so many Black creators. I needed to find my way out. If I didn’t leave now, I wasn’t ever going to leave. I truly believed that.
But I did it. I took the plunge, and I am off.
2. Actually watched some television.
That’s pretty freakin’ huge for me. But once I started to see myself disconnect from social media, I started to watch more television. I know y’all cannot wait for some really awfully bad recaps and reviews. I am full of them. This was a week I really got my television on. Accomplishment for me. And benefit for you. This week’s recommendation is coming up. Stay tuned.
3. Tried to squeeze in one last family weekend trip before the year is out.
This trip found us in Grapevine, Texas. The Christmas Capital of Texas. Apparently, that is a thing. And apparently, Grapevine is it. It’s a town nestled between Dallas and Ft. Worth, I think. Y’all I ain’t that good with maps. It was indeed pretty. I worried about visiting since they just had a tornado the week prior. Any damage they had was not in the areas we visited, or they had cleaned it up already. This place looked like something out of a Hallmark film. Incredible. I don’t know why I didn’t take that many photos. Oh, yes, I do…it’s because every single time I pulled out my camera a person appeared out of nowhere and said, “you want me to take y’all picture?”
Every single time.
Try it if you ever visit during Christmastime. Pull out your camera and watch someone materialize and go, “you want me to take y’all picture?”
Don’t get me wrong, I appreciated the offer. But we are still in a pandemic. I am still trying to get over the panic that has not left me since I caught Covid two years ago around Christmas, and this season is shaping up to be a not so good one. I just didn’t want too many people all in my face and space, touching my camera and then handing it back to me. I only got like three family shots. I did take a few more pics but like I said, they pop up every single time you take out the camera.
The daytime was pretty and not too many people out on the streets.
Nighttime though. Whew. Never again. Those streets were packed. But it was INCREDIBLY BEAUTIFUL. I don’t think I ever seen so many lights and lit up shops, decorations EVERYWHERE. If you are ever in Grapevine during Christmas, this is a must-see destination.
4. Finally recognized that I am pretty close to 1000 total subscribers.
I am sitting pretty at 964 total subscribers here as of two hours ago. I’d do a little dance, make a little noise, and get down tonight…but these knees ain’t what they used to be. But please know that I hit a celebratory “whoop!” And 84 of you are paid. I feel as though this is an accomplishment worth cheering for. If you’d like to help me on my first goal of 1000 subscribers, you know what to do…share, share, SHARE!
You can even gift a subscription. Hello, Christmas gift?
Just sayin’.
Things that moved my spirit.
1. Lizzo literally becoming Annie Lee’s ‘Blue Monday’.
Lizzo the Great (as I call this Queen) channeling Annie Lee’s Blue Monday on SNL. If y’all are unfamiliar with the “Blue Monday” piece, it is a timeless work of art that shows that we carry everything within us, deep within our bones, especially our Black women and femmes. Annie gave no faces, literally. She wanted her work to be expressed through body movements and body language. We related to her Blue Monday piece because we could literally picture ourselves as the woman who struggled to get out of bed.
This performance was right on time for me. It’s like the universe has been trying to tell me things for so long and then it just sent the signs straight to my face. I am tired. I am weary. I am struggling. And while I will admit that as of the penning of this edition of ‘Side Dishes’ I have yet to watch Lizzo’s performance, the images she shared to her social media have me shook. Stirred something in me that I have been feeling often but denied myself the opportunity to explore what it meant. Faced with looking at her (Lizzo) dressed in a gown, strap hanging as if it were too tired to rest upon her shoulder, sitting with her head down in Bantu knots, arms outstretched to her sides, her shoulders hunched into that all too familiar position of one steadying themselves for the uncomfortable rise to their feet.
I wasn’t ready. This picture hung in the homes of so many Black families and if you didn’t have one in your home, you knew someone who did, and if you didn’t know someone who did, you saw it somewhere.
Annie embodied the Black experience with just painting how our bodies moved, and how they looked. She captured it all with not one face to show how we felt. No face to show our joy, our pain, our struggle…she let it all show in our shoulders. Our feet. Our hands…
I wrote in my ‘goodbye’ post that, “the body will always win.” And it will. But it will wear those feelings you deny before it ever lets you crash.
Below are some images snagged from Lizzo’s verified Facebook account:
2. The appreciation for my cookies I made for Hammy’s job fair and like four different Christmas parties spanning two days.
Whew. If you think that was a lot to read, trying makin’ all them damn cookies. We, me and the kid, spent days making dough, storing it in the fridge, and baking cookies. Now, I thought I was some celebrity baker or something cause I had a plan to make like four different cookies for each shift party and two different ones for the job fair.
Reality and my wallet was like, “nah.”
Ain’t no way that was happenin’, friends. So, chocolate chip for the job fair and orange cranberry for the Christmas parties. I don’t ever want to see another cookie for about seven months. Many of Hammy’s coworkers found the cookies to be delightful and “refreshing,” their words. I haven’t a clue what “refreshing” means in terms of cookie taste, but it doesn’t feel negative, so I will call that a win.
3. Receiving messages from a follower that they had “A Day with No Words” with their students.
When I wrote this book, I wanted it to serve so many purposes:
normalize communication methods outside of speech.
amplify the voices of nonspeakers everywhere.
love letter to my son and those like him.
call to action showing that it costs nothing to participate in these days and the impact will be HUGE.
highlight that there are Black people that exist within this diagnosis.
For this follower to share that her class had one of these days based on MY book sent me way past the moon y’all, I am still sporting the burns from grazing the sun. I didn’t speak with this follower about sharing her messages here, I don’t want to do that. It’s too precious and filled with too many sweet and vulnerable moments for me to put it out there like that. But it filled me with such joy and warmth. Something I didn’t even know I was missing until that moment.
Y’all know I have to plug the book, I mean, c’mon, it’s my first book. And I’m trying to make someone’s bestseller list straight out the gate. I don’t even care if it’s a Bestseller of West Texas, that’s a list ain’t it? Preorder A Day with No Words.
Now, I cannot guarantee a spoiler free share here, but I will do my very best.
The Sandman.
I have really been trying to catch up on all the television that I have been missing out on. While everyone and their Mama is recreatin’ Wednesday TikTok dances, I have just finished up season one of The Sandman on Netflix. I know there were a few critics that didn’t really like it, but who really cares what they think? This show was loved by many of those who watched it, including yours truly. I won’t give spoilers, this is one you definitely have to watch.
The Sandman is based on the comic of the same name. Sandman aka Dream aka Morpheus…what’s even more odd than having this many names is the fact that they literally use all three multiple times within the series. Morpheus is the King of Dreams who has the unfortunate circumstance of being kidnapped and imprisoned by regular ass people (well, rich regular ass people) for a century. Once he is free, he learns of his items being taken from him, his nightmares running around free from his realm, and humans are playin’ dangerous games with his things. Dream then sets out on a journey across worlds to get back what is his and set the world back to where it was. Turns out a universe with too many bad dreams, too many corrupt dreams, too many dreams period, or not enough dreams is no place to live.
The casting is impeccable in this series. The lead in Tom Sturridge was an excellent choice. The facials he was serving was interesting. A bit constipated mixed with confusion and duck lips. But he was amazing this role. Always so calm. Always seemingly chill. Even when faced with some pretty difficult challenges. Dude faced off with the Devil herself! Still cooler than the other side of the pillow.
So many strong Black supporting women and femme characters. They didn’t serve as comedic props. They weren’t serving as fillers. They were integral to the story and to the Sandman himself. Actually, the entire cast was exceptionally diverse and fit their roles perfectly.
The imagery in this series was a sight to see. I put off on watching this one, but I am glad that I finally decided to give it a shot. I cannot wait for the second season. If you are looking for a good series and you are into the supernatural, this a pretty good one to add to your list. Neil Gaiman is a damn genius and he got to have his hands all over the television adaptation of his work, and he did an amazing job with it.
Y’all check this one out if you haven’t already.
1. Walela Nehanda on IG.
Walela Nehanda (they/them) is who wrote the powerful image I shared above. They are an incredible writer, activist, Leukemia survivor, and so much more. I live for their content. They share such amazing memes that fit perfectly with their original content. Almost as if the meme were made specifically for them and not that they just happened to find what worked. I follow Walela on Instagram and I am not sure of any other social accounts for them.
2. Tiffany Joseph aka TJ on IG/FB.
The homie TJ (they/them/she/her). I “met” them online a few years ago and we just kicked it off. We get into a lot of good trouble together. And some bad, but we ain’t gon’ talk about that. Recently, we ran our first live with our good friend, Sandra on being Blackually Autistic. We focused on what ABA (applied behavior analysis) means to us being Black and Autistic. I have no desire to get into the specifics of the controversy surrounding ABA, I literally have talked about this for far too long and far too often. I have even collated most of my postings on it into one giant download here.
TJ uploaded our first IG Live on ABA to their YouTube channel.
Keep reading with a 7-day free trial
Subscribe to Fidgets and Fries to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.