This is part of my free newsletter. There might be some aspects of it that I will reserve for paid subscribers but most of it will be free. Oh, feel free to share any of the free posts with your family, friends, and community. They will be public. The more the word gets out, the better. Sharing is not only caring, but a form of currency.
Our family has “No Talk Days.” These are days that we communicate in ways other than speech, most often the same way that Aidan does to not only model that particular mode of communication but also to show that we are doing our very best to meet him where he is.
We don’t just communicate with one another without speech, we communicate with the community as well without speech.
The very first time I even heard of doing this was from Jojo. “Maybe if we ‘talked’ like he talked he would feel more like us.” He was seven at the time. I didn’t dismiss the idea, but I didn’t implement it right away. Sometime after that I got strep, and I couldn’t really speak at all without it being difficult to do so. I had to point, write, text, dance around, you name it, I was doing it.
It was sobering. It’s not like I haven’t had strep before, but this felt different. Those words from baby brother implanted itself deep within me and took root. I thought about how frustrating it was to have so much to say and not be able to get it out. How little my needs were met.
Then I thought of my Aidan. What a world it is for him. And then I thought of his brother, who is his biggest protector and closest friend.
Our family’s No Talk Days were inspired by Jojo. I once shared about these days in great detail a couple of times on IG and inspired my audience there. When the opportunity came for me to write a book for children, I knew this was the book I wanted to do. Because our engagement in them served a purpose on multiple fronts. A bridge between our world and those unfamiliar with our lives, the normalization of communication outside of speech, a love note to my son and those like him…
Jojo gifted this to our family because he loves his brother so much, and I will honor my youngest in whatever way I can, as often as I can. This book is just as much for him as it is for his brother.
He planted a seed. One that will blossom into something that will change so many hearts.
I think of those who tell him that he harms this community because of how he chooses to identify. I think of their words when I wrote essays on why identity is so personal to us, how we come to grow into who we are, and why this has absolutely nothing to do with another…how they claimed I argued against the spirit of the community. I think of their words when they called me harmful. And dangerous. I think of their words as they ban my name from their spaces. I think of the words they tell others as they are booted from groups because they mention my name.
I think of all their words. I let them sit with me. I think of the words laced with venom they throw towards my son.
What a delight it is to birth a book from the love my son has for his brother.
And use what he’s taught me to present this gift to the world.
The. WORLD.
Hey, Australia out there preordering my book. What’s up Germany, a few of y’all got it as well.
They tell him he hurts this community.
They tell me I do the same.
What beauty it is to know his influence has touched the lives of so many he does not know.
How fitting that the words used to cut him down have been drowned out by the words that longed for a book like this.
They tell me plenty of things.
It’s a good thing I do not listen.