Sometimes I will take my “grass” blanket, lay it in my yard, and lie on it next to the patio so I can watch the ants. Occasionally I will write about it. Nothing fancy. Just quick thoughts and ramblings. This particular journal is filled with pages and pages of randomness. I haven’t come across an entry I ever felt was “complete.” I return to pieces I write to edit them. I don’t do that with all my journals. With this one, I just like to see exactly what was going on in my head at the time.
This is one of those entries. I wish I would have gotten a picture of my friend Fred.
Welcome to page 47:
Today I watched the ants.
Looking at them free, loose, wandering about. I wish this were me.
They always look chaotic in their movements, but they move with purpose. They know where they are going, and they know where they’ve been.
I think they are more human than we are. They live and die for their Queen, working together in the colony.
The colony cares for their young...and their hurt.
No matter the weather, sun or storm, they march on. Carrying more than their weight for the good of the group. Their individual cause seems small...gather food, protect the Queen, work, build, populate the colony...die. But together they are mighty. They are a force.
I’d found a stray ant, and I named him Fred. I know, I name all ants, male or female Fred.
Ants look like Freds. They just do.
This one was male, I believe, he still had his wings. Queens can have wings, but they aren’t usually alone.
I shared some bread with Fred, and we talked. I wonder if he knows how incredible he is or how tall he stands?
He’s more social than I. All ants are, for they are social insects. I tell him it is odd he has more friends than me, but I understand why that is.
But he is alone right now. And I suddenly feel sad.
I don’t think ants are ever really lost, and that leaves only one thing his solitude can mean, he found his Queen and he’s spending his last moments in the sun with me. He won’t ever know his ant babies.
But I will keep him company for now, though I am not all that social, but Fred is pretty easy to open up to.
I love your writing. So often you make me think hard and consider new perspectives, you often make me laugh too but this one is just a quiet balm. Thank you