I don't have any Trump Supporting Friends
and that is how I like it to be.
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This newsletter rests at the intersection of the unserious ramblings of a woman full of buttered rice and dad jokes and the somewhat sophisticated stories and essays of someone who knows just enough “smart” words to sound super intelligent and insightful.
What will today’s newsletter be? Hmm…
I kept avoiding writing this, and then one day, I woke up and thought, “Why am I putting this off?”
Seriously, why? I keep seeing this “we can still be friends and disagree” meme circulating everywhere. It’s all over social media, shared by friends on both sides of the political spectrum.
But let’s be real—it’s complete nonsense.
We’re not debating trivial things like pizza toppings or Super Bowl performers. We’re talking about the dehumanization and harm inflicted on entire communities by the policies and rhetoric of the former President and many Republicans pushing his agenda.
The phrase “we can still be friends and disagree” is peak whiteness, designed to preserve the status quo.
Who actually benefits when people say this? Too few of you are asking yourselves that question.
Who gains from the “we can disagree and still be friends” mindset?
Let me tell you who don’t:
BIPOC
DISABLED FOLK
LGBT+
Persons with uteruses
Those with intersectional identities that come from historically underrepresented communities
This is whiteness in its purest form.
I started to see this sentiment after Trump was elected in 2016 and since then, even some white liberal Democrats have adopted this. Whiteness can afford to befriend itself because it’s untouched by the consequences that fall on people outside of that bubble—the very people harmed by the policies they vote for. They’re shielded from the outcome.
I’m looking at these ridiculous memes and images of Taylor Swift and Brittany Mahomes, who was just “revealed” to be a Trump supporter. Shocker! Both ladies were in a recent image hugging and cheering on their other halves during a Chiefs game. And way too many were like, “see they can still be friends.”
What the absolute fuck does Taylor have to lose should they not be friends? What does she have to lose if she is part of the demographic that they demonize and not part of the one they break their necks to protect? Brittany has nothing to lose either. She isn’t perceived to be the one targeted in the harm that man-child and his other supporters peddle.
We’re not talking about tax cuts here. These are policies rooted in oppression, and yet some of you are comfortable being friends with people who vote for that kind of harm.
I can’t vibe with someone who believes Haitians are stealing pets and eating them.
I’m not okay with people who think banning books about my history is acceptable. I’m not cool with people who are fine with erasing my story.
I don’t stand with folks who are okay with stripping away reproductive rights from women or blocking gender-affirming treatments for trans people.
We just aren’t cool. And I refuse to be guilt-tripped or shamed for feeling this way.
Not in the name of some sentiment that only upholds the status quo.
Everything is political—from the roads we drive on, to the neighborhoods we live in, to our identities, both chosen and inherited—everything.
What I’m hearing from you is that it’s okay to be friends with someone who supports a racist, sexist, elitist, transphobic, homophobic candidate just because they promise to lower your taxes. But somehow, you think they don’t really believe in the rest of the hate they’re pushing?
My circle is small for a reason. I’m not cool with anyone who’s fine with hateful rhetoric targeting entire communities, to the point where they’re put in danger because of it.
No tax cut in the world is gonna make me okay with that.
This isn’t about picking and choosing. If you support someone politically, you’re backing everything they stand for. That’s why your vote matters.
There’s no such thing as a “single-issue” vote.
This mentality is one of the many reasons why you can literally look at a racist, sexist, transphobic, etc. politician, know who they are because they can live loud and out in the open and they still keep their seat. Always. Because “we are all allowed to have an opinion.” This is an excuse to maintain supremacist systems and they put the onus on us, the blame on us, the ones who suffer at the hands of these mindsets and policies, to accept and welcome “diversity in thought.” “It’s okay to have an opinion.” And they make us hold their shit. Respectability politics ain’t ever been where it’s at and it also harms US.
No shame in my game—if you stand with people who deny the humanity of others, we are not friends.
Period.
Forget the whole hand-holding, fake unity thing.