Brunch on...Saturday?
A day late, but it's here ain't it?
This week’s brunch is brought to you by: too damn busy and forgot to write one.
Apologies. Blame it on my head and not my heart, y’all. As always, remember to read through to the end for this week’s recipe.
Let’s get after it, shall we?
Recently, on social media I wrote about experiencing a lot of emotions this last week. There was so much going on and I didn’t know how to make sense of it, still don’t honestly. I am in this season of transition and I am trying to wrap my head around the fact that I am not going to be the same person I am today, soon. And while I am going through this I am also trying to understand the complex feelings I have around my son, his communication, my advocacy, and finally having the opportunity to introduce him to his peers.
I don’t know how deep I want to get into the grief that is associated with connecting with my son’s people. But I will address those feelings. And I don’t mean grief as in I am completely filled with deep and profound sorrow for having entered the same orbit as these individuals. My good friend, TJ, who I will share a bit more about in this post, shared this message with me on Instagram.
“Ironically, when we start to get better, we also often get sad— because we start to realize how much we’ve missed out on, how badly certain people failed us, what the younger version of us actually deserved. Healing involves healthy grieving. No way around it.”
She sent this to me because of the dysregulation my son was experiencing after leaving Motormorphosis this past weekend. I know that this message was intended to shine light on how he is feeling but I think it opened my eyes a bit to how I am feeling as well. I feel feelings I cannot name at this time for how much we have missed out on all these years, recognizing that we deserved far better than what was given to us. It’s this bit of regret that is swirling around in me. I didn’t know what I didn’t know, but that doesn’t make me feel too much better. In many ways, I still feel as though I have failed my son. And a large part of me feels like he wouldn’t see it that way. Still, I feel what I feel.
I could probably write three books on exploring these feelings but I want to share a bit more about Motormorphosis. I had the pleasure of not only being invited, but presenting on two panels for discussion during the conference. This is an experience I won’t ever forget and it’s one that I want to spend this week’s brunch talking about in the hopes that it will inspire others to attend next year.
What is Motormorphosis?
Happy that you asked. It is a yearly conference put on by I-ASC (international association of spelling to communicate) and is described as the “largest conference for the nonspeaking community”. People from all of the world gather to talk about the research, policy, technology, regulation, and S2C (spelling to communicate). There is large emphasis on community here, and I am all about community. This conference takes place every July in Virginia. This year it was in Herndon at the Hyatt Regency and I am unsure if this is the location they hold it every year. But really all you need to know for now is that it occurs yearly in July and it will be in Virginia.
Now, save your coins monthly for tickets and travel expenses.
There were many panel discussions and main room presentations that were of great importance and interest to the nonspeaking community and their families. I learned of the latest research that was being done with nonspeakers as well as the current policy talks on how best to care for and ensure this community is getting what it needs to maneuver about this world as the beautiful humans that they are. Many of the presenters were nonspeaking themselves. I served on two panels alongside nonspeakers and their CRPs (communication and regulation partners).
Those who attend will have access to taped presentations about a month after the conference. So, while great notetaking is always a plus, you won’t miss a thing with the playback. Also, many breakout sessions occurred at the same time and tough decisions had to be made, so you can always watch sessions you weren’t able to attend later on when the recording is available.
I won’t spend much of this post talking about what is spelling to communicate, what does the I-ASC organization do, how to get started with S2C, etc. I am strictly going to share about this conference and why those who are nonspeaking, their families, those who work with nonspeakers, etc. should attend these conferences in the future.
Why should you attend Motormorphosis?
I have shared about Motormorphosis many times and there were many parents who wanted to come but felt as though their children “weren’t ready.”
Are we ever really ready?
Truly?
Just do it.
Just go.
And I will tell you why this is one place you would want to bring your children should you choose to attend.
Community. It’s hundreds of Nonspeakers and their families taking over a hotel. Your people. And they get it. They understand stimming, loud noises, the occasional shoe tossed across the room, the running through the lobby. All of it. You have built in mama bears, papa bears, cousin bears, sibling bears, etc. They stick up for each other. You aren’t alone here.
Accepting. Come as you are. Literally. We had Aidan in every session he could tolerate. And he made every noise he could. All our friends could hear him across the room and into the lobby. No one cared. There were Nonspeakers up and walking the aisles, stimming, laughing, jumping, making all kinds of noise. No one cared. And we could still hear the presenters, still see the projectors, still take notes, and still learn.
Sensory room. You know what these are, they had one.
Everything all in one place. The hotel was where the conference was. It was near food and stores, but they had an on-site restaurant as well. There was a pool, bar, fitness room, outdoor seating and gathering spaces. If you needed to leave the conference for whatever reason, you didn’t have to retreat to your vehicle, you could go to your room.
Education, advocacy, and networking. It’s all there. The latest on research that will benefit nonspeakers. Vendors to help you get some “getting started materials”. Access to centers and organizations that have practitioners to help you. Sessions that are incredibly informative and will help you on this journey. The opportunity to meet other Nonspeakers and learn about what they are up to. So many are advocates themselves, have amazing products that they sell, and more!
Just…go. All of you.
Presentations
I was invited to participate in two panel discussions: reaching BIPOC for spelling and nonspeakers as well as an author panel. These were incredible panels to be on because as beautiful and remarkable as the overall experience was for me, it was still overwhelmingly white. There weren’t many BIPOC there. And, when you did see us, we were all on that panel. The audience was white. The whole room. With maybe a sprinkle of color that came from my family in the audience. This is something that has to change. There needs to be more BIPOC representation in these spaces. The conversation that was had on that stage was a start, but we have a long way to go. The issue with our community and access to spelling is a deeply complex one that I don’t have the space to get into during this brunch session, but best believe it’s gonna get addressed.
The author panel was incredible! I know this is a big deal for many nonspeakers because they have so much to say! They are amazing authors and writers and poets and creatives. They need a way to get their work out into the world. This panel I was on helped to talk more about just that. I would love to have more discussions and workshops on how to get more published works from Nonspeakers out there. I am doing my first ever poetry/writing workshop in Reno come September, and while it is not specifically for Nonspeakers, it is for Autistic persons…but I will be using this experience to carry over into something that I want to do for Nonspeakers in the near future.
I attended as many presentations I could while there. Aidan and Hammy came to as many as they could as well, but for the most part it was me and Jojo. I learned so much. I got a renewed confidence that had been slipping away from me recently. I feel as though I can actually help my son with this. I feel capable. I didn’t feel like that before.
The presentations were just as good as the swag bags.
Highlights
Everything. And all things. All at once.
Seriously.
I met so many Nonspeakers who I didn’t even know followed me. I had a medical issue with being allergic to one of my medications and my lip swelled to the size of a melon. I talked about it on social media but didn’t actually speak to anyone about it at the conference, I just covered it up. Well, so many Nonspeakers asked me about my lip and if I was doing okay. I loved that. Made me feel so loved and cared for.
I had some moments in which I felt out of place and a true beginner. I felt like I didn’t know nearly as much as the other parents did there. I started to feel lonely and a bit sad. Danny, a friend of mine who uses a letterboard to communicate, alongside his sister Tara, helped me through those feelings. He asked about my feeling lonely. He comforted me. I won’t ever forget that. Ever.
Meeting TJ, Rachel, and so many others who I only talked with online. That was a definite highlight of mine. I won’t ever forget the faces I have come to love and care for over the years. And I won’t ever forget the new connections I made during this conference.
Criticisms
This was to be expected, honestly. Each and every single time I talk about spelling, someone, or several someones comes in and tells me that I am being harmful and promoting things that aren’t back by science. At the risk of repeating myself because I addressed this a bit on social media, I will include a lot of what was written here:
I talked with a couple of moms there who warned me that should I continue to talk about spelling so openly and publicly, this would ramp up. This will grow and grow. I know this. I have seen it. I know the influence I hold within my community. And I know the hits come swifter and harder the larger you grow as an advocate. I believe that is part of the reason I was invited in the first place to come. Because I can use my platform to advance the discussions about spelling and about Nonspeakers. I have a role to play. I have skills and privileges that I intend to leverage to amplify the voices of those like my son, and my son’s. I have no intention on slinking back into my shell because someone has an issue with the presumption of competence.
Nah.
In conclusion.
Nothing. That’s it. I ain’t got no more to share. Y’all just mark your calendars for next July and save ya coins.
For more information about I-ASC and getting started with spelling:
This week’s recipe is brought to you by: carbs and my hips that love them
Cheddar Bay Biscuits. I wanted a recipe like Red Lobster’s, but these taste pretty darn good. Let me know if you try them out!
Now, there are several recipes out there and almost all of them are identical. There might be some minor changes here and there (like some call for a teaspoon or so of sugar and others preferred milk to the buttermilk), but we have made them several different ways and honestly, they are all good.
I am going to share the latest recipe we tried from The Cozy Cook. To visit the recipe page directly, click here.
I will say this though, it doesn’t matter what recipe I use, I only ever put Old Bay seasoning in them and nothing else. Might could give that a try as well.
Cheddar Bay Biscuits from The Cozy Cook
Servings: 10 biscuits
Prep Time: 8minutes mins
Cook Time: 12minutes mins
Total Time: 20minutes mins
These Cheddar Bay Biscuits are easy to make from scratch or with Bisquick mix! This makes an easy side dish recipe that needs just 12 minutes of baking time!
Ingredients
2 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
½ teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon granulated sugar
¾ teaspoon salt, see notes
½ teaspoon garlic powder
¼ teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 cup sharp cheddar cheese, about 4 oz.
1 cup cold buttermilk, see notes for substitution options
½ cup unsalted butter, melted and cooled for 5 minutes
For the Topping:
2 tablespoons melted butter
½ teaspoon garlic powder
¼ teaspoon dry parsley
Instructions
Preheat oven to 450 degrees.
In a large bowl, mix the flour, baking powder, baking soda, sugar, salt, garlic powder and cayenne pepper. Stir in the cheddar cheese and set aside.
In a separate bowl, mix the buttermilk and melted butter together until small lumps form.
Add the buttermilk to the large bowl with the flour and mix until a dough has formed and the ingredients are no longer dry. Do not overmix.
Lightly grease a ¼ cup and scoop out the dough with it. Place on a light colored, lightly greased baking sheet, leaving slightly more than an inch between each. You should have 10 total.
Bake for about 12 minutes, until they are golden brown.
While the biscuits are baking, combine melted butter, garlic powder, and parsley. Brush the tops of the biscuits when they come out of the oven and serve immediately.
This made me weep.