Black History Month and some other Things
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Black History Month brings forth a lot of feelings and almost none of them are pleasant. We are living in a time when “woke” is a euphemism for Black, our stories, histories, and contexts are being banned from classrooms, labeled as divisive and incendiary, and the bulk of what mainstream America knows of our history is butchered quotes from Martin Luther King Jr. and slavery.
And slavery ain’t Black History, that’s American History.
Social media can be draining for the social justice advocate whose space has a large number of white members in their audience. I often note that I don’t check my insights because they overwhelm me, and while this is true, I often do not check them because my insights will reveal to me that I am often seen as a resource. A conduit for struggle. A lesson to others. A message for many. The posts I share that hold stories of pain, anguish, and turmoil will net me more reactions, more engagement, more care. Those centered in joy provide me with less reactions, less engagement, less care.
This isn’t something one wants to be confronted with on a regular basis, so I don’t check my insights often. I can get a good enough picture in real time just from viewing my recent posts.
And still, I am choosing to sit firmly in my joy and that of others this month. I can no longer do what makes others feel good. I don’t only exist to be someone’s resource or educator. I want to celebrate the person that I am. I want to celebrate the richness of our people. I want to fall into the smiles of my children and that of those in expertly timed TikTok videos. I want to share food pics and videos. I want to share behind the scenes happenings of some of our favorite vacation pictures.
I want to be that carefree Black girl I have always wanted to be but felt there wasn’t room for her. I never really felt as though I had the time to just…pause and enjoy life, not even when I was out enjoying life. On vacation and still thinking about what it was about our experiences in new places would be teachable moments for others.
I have been exercising more boundaries this year. I am quite proud of myself. And despite all the mess that has been happening with our housing situation, my health, and trying to get my kids back on track with schooling, I have some major wins under my belt already. I want to celebrate me for a bit. I am doing the very best I can with the circumstances I am in. I don’t want my life to be struggle after struggle, though it can sometimes feel that way.
My social media break has taught me so much, number one being that I need to take more social media breaks. Schedule them if I have to. Burnout is not for me. And I am no good to anyone worn out and pained. I have learned that it is time for me to make more transitions in my work. I don’t need to have a following that is over a 100K, the one I have is real. And it works for me. It has been an amazing accomplishment to grow and learn with so many people. To have them invite me into their lives. I never thought this would ever happen in my wildest dreams when I first launched Fidgets and Fries.
But it is time for me to grow. Because I am ready to do more for the community that I have cultivated. But first, I want to celebrate the highs that it took for me to get here. There is a lot going on in my life at the moment, from moving to a new home (finally), to fighting with the property management of this current home, to promoting my book, to launching my business (eekk!), I will share more about the business in a later share.
My little Substack has grown so much in the last few months. I am happy you are all here. February feels like a reset for me. This starting over with making a definitive plan with how I show up here. I don’t know if I will stick to a true plan, but I am going to give it an honest effort. Shooting for one weekly newsletter and an extra one for those who are paid subscribers. Remember if you would like a free trial for paid, please let me know and I will give you one.
I will say that for those of you who would like a more educational environment, I will do that on Patreon. It is paid subscription only, but starts at $1/month. Everything else will be parked here. Soon, I will stop cross-posting from here to there. I just needed a break from double content for a minute.
I don’t even know why I am still awake, I be tired as hell all day long and when it is time to go to sleep, here I am, wide awake. I am gonna review or recap Velma soon. I keep forgetting to do that. But I like doing reviews/recaps, so this is going to get done.
I have issue with the signing off part of the posts.
Soooo, bye for now.